Most people believe that decisions are made with facts. They’re actually not!

Written by Paul C. Bastante, CAPS – Certified Aging in Place Specialist for “The Agewise Institute” and brought to you by 101 Mobility North Jersey.

Most people believe that decisions are made with facts. They’re actually not. They’re made with framing… and then justified with facts afterward. This is called “suggestive reasoning” and it is definitely a skill of effective “verbal” communication. 

“Suggestive Reasoning” is the ability to guide someone toward a conclusion without ever telling them what to think. You’re kind of just arranging the pieces so the other person walks themselves to the answer.

And when they get there? They own it. That’s the whole game right there. You’ve all heard the words “make it their idea”, it’s called suggestive reasoning. 

You see it everywhere once you start looking for it. A doctor doesn’t say you need this. They say “most patients in your situation feel safer going this route”.

A salesperson doesn’t say buy this now. They say “people who waited usually ended up paying more later”. 

A leader doesn’t demand agreement. They ask “what happens if we don’t address this now”.

Nothing is forced. But everything is implied. And that’s exactly why it works.

People don’t like pressure. They don’t like to be forced or mandated to. So they push back. But they do trust their own conclusions. So when the situation is framed in a way where the answer feels obvious, resistance disappears. 

Now here’s where this gets a little sticky. Using and applying suggestive reasoning can either be one of the most effective ways to communicate… or one of the most dangerous.

The difference really comes down to what the intent actually is, because if you are helping someone to see something clearly, to me, that is more of a guiding thing. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4JHFGGnoHo

If you’re steering them somewhere that only benefits you, then THAT would cross over into manipulation. Nobody responds well to being told what to do. Especially when it involves their home, their money, or their family. But when they realize something on their own, that’s when action happens.

So, while it can sometimes be the case, I don’t think that suggestive reasoning is about control. It’s More about clarity. It’s more about helping someone arrive at what’s already true… just not fully seen yet. And if you Apply this communication tool, you don’t win an argument, you never actually have one in the first place. 🙂 Just my two-sense.